International Kimberly Clark Rectangle Toilet Paper Conspiracy

TheEnemy.JPG Rebecca's father once asked of my coffee, "Is this for drinking or do you need to clean a crank case?" Which brings me to this morning. As I sit, I realize that yet another of my employing institutions has replaced the standard TP roll with this stack-of-squares innovation from Kimberly Clark. I noticed this at my client in Washington DC, and now I see it is present even in Guatemala City. First I'm reminded of the times when the roll was out and I had to reach for the Kleenex. That brings a warm memory because of how soft and... Reality returns: this stuff is as thin as it's cheapest traditional alternative, but pre-divided into 4x8 inch rectangles. What, did you think we'd use just one? Two? Do you really think this is tricking us somehow into using less paper per pilgrimage? It makes me so angry that every time I am forced to use these, I take between 45 and 200 squares before declaring "mission accomplished". Get up, stand up.. Don't give up the fight. Bankrupt the bathroom budget of any baño that tries to quantize your personal cleanliness. Then forgive my cheeky alliteration.